IMPRINTS

( LAST MEETING OF THEO WITH WOUNDED AND HOSPTALIZED  VAN GOG, AFTER SHOOTING HIMSELF ) As if an unknown power  All of sudden  Took hold of my hands. Momentarily  Due to that  It has been possible to see you Theo! If Van Gog is known in future For his paintings I will feel pain How long, people will Get fascinated by Falsehood of gold fraises? x         x        x        x       x      When, I had pointed revolver  On me I knew  It was not only me dying But after all How long could I move Unexhausted  Carrying this burden? Your eyes were imposing questions What could be reply to these By anyone? x         x       x        x      x  I had read  Somewhere in a book  Reference of fraternal affection May be  It is a myth  Or a fantasy. And above that-...

VINCENT VAN GOG  AUTHOR SPEAKS: KAVI ANURAG ******************************** IN CONTEXT OF THE POETRY BOOK  'BHULA HUA SA YAAD KUCH' ' (RECOLLECTING OBLIETRATED') ******************************************************************************** The world is rich with many great artists who are remembered for providing new heights to art, on dint of their original, distinct skills. But Vincent Van Gogh holds a distinct status. He is remembered as much for his contribution to Painting as for his sacrifice and dedication towards Art. In spite of sufferings, agony and failures on every step pf life, he was always associated with colors and canvas, even during his lunacy. Not even for a single moment, he nurtured any doubt for Art. His craze for art provides energy and vigour to the artists even in present times. This attribute makes him distinct from other artists and this is a testimony to his dedication that he lost everything, even life in the end-- but did not leave colo...

REFUTING *********** Evening  Behind curtain of mounds The Sun Scared of Utter silence Lethargic Coconut plants Withered crops Till distance  Desolate pathways Dried paint-brush, gloomy canvas Today, all the halos are invisible. Original Poem ' INKAAR' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

CONDITION ************ I remained a trader only Put everything on stake  I failed do only one deal And you imposed  That very condition only. Though You were well-acquainted-- I can subsist without food But, not without colours and canvas Even then If I am guilty Who is to be blamed for it?  Original Poem 'Sharat' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 9.   MY SUFFERINGS    ******************* You could never be  A co-sharer in my grief That does not imply I was no body to you But, you Never realized it. But, now happy abruptly It will be so nice O, That! You never come to know About my sufferings. Original Poem 'Jo Bhoga hai Maine ' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 10.   IF ANY MISERY? If you are confronted with Any misery Even to the extent of point of thorn Every misery that belongs to you Give it to me And all my comfort Potato, coffee and lip-smacking eggs Every such petty comfort That I have come across in my life You should be in center of that Not me. Original Poem 'Jo koi Dukh' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra  Original Poem 'Jo Koi Dukh' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

   MISERY ********** All are well-versed With the fact That in this life Misery is endless phenomenon Then, who can imagine  End of plight of one Who had to sell her body  In the end  To cope up with sufferings of life?  Original Poem ' Dukh' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 GYPSY ********* You! Though Could not accompany me Till far The path was of such a kind Above that So narrow that In spite of willingness  Nobody could move along You are not to be blamed Who could Offer protective roof to a gypsy  And even if moved along Till what point?  Original Poem 'Yayavar' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  RECALLING  YOU **************** Bird Mangled  Obstructed breath In such a plight Recalling you Fills wings with  A will for flight. Original Poem ' SMARAN' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 I FEEL SORRY ************** In this moment of death O, Mother! Remembering you Seems so life-giving I was not good at anything Still In my childhood After I woke up In the morning First of all, you provided me with Breakfast of bread, butter and sugar Hiding from all others To protect me from any mishap Would take me to Church, after bathing me With folded hands, having warmth of burning hearth You prayed to Jesus For my long life. I am so sorry O, Mother! For whom You prayed!

HAZY-MISTY ************* You While basking in sun Weaving threads  Of your shawl Might be trying To divert your mind By engaging  In some sort of activity So that, you don't miss me. Still, you might be missing  me. With same intensity------ Getting up Might be brushing Ashes from hearth Or,  might be collecting coal Or collecting grains To divert your mind Still. you might be missing me With same intensity. After getting exhausted Performing all these chores When you fail to forget me Even after so much indulgence in work Then, finally, your eyes   Might be getting teary With my memories Hazy--misty. Original Poem' Dhuaan Dhuaan'  in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

    EVICTED - HOMELESS   *********************** O, Ma! Home is home due to mother . But, does mother have her own home? Had it been your home Could father evict me From home Like this? Original Poem' Bedakhal- Beghar'  in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  REVERIE A reveries is Deep rooted  Like a thorn Needle of time That used to scrape To dig it out Now, itself has Sunk deep Like pointed thorn. Original Poem ' NAHIN PA LETA' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 LONGING FOR IDENTITY I remained less significant Then a name scribbled with Chalk-powder  On a wall. Longing for identity Whiteness that clung  With the fingers That--was washed away. Now, myself Only remnant In the  frowning colony  Sometimes stagnant,  Sometimes flowing water. Original Poem ' ASTITV KEE CHAH MEIN' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

COULD NOT ATTAIN ******************* Might not be this much Even if I had keenness of A stone statue Even then, for me Something would have been possible. Original Poem ' NAHIN PA LETA' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 TO ASSUME FORM  ****************** Even after light being diffused  On the other side  Of the palm This flick of earthen-lamp Could not convince anyone  About my love One has to bear pain  Of being cut After that only Any form is visible. Only this fact provides solace Moments of getting scattered Might be a stone only It faced cutting To assume a shape. Original Poem ' HONE KE LIYE' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  THAT SENSATION ****************** I had a notion  Death erases  Everything But, today I am observing Death is as helpless Confronted with that sensation As life  Confronted with death. Original Poem ' THAT SENSATION' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 EXISTENT AFTER NON EXISTENCE *********************************** Holding myself in my hand I am prepared to diffuse myself On the banks of life A mist is landing Deep inside me In which Everything is getting invisible. When I will be non-existent Will nothing else remain? Not even love? I conjured whom at the cost of my life Or due to this only Death is standing hesitatingly In front of me? Original Poem ' EXISTENT AFTER NON EXISTENCE' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  IN THE CHURCH OF LONDON   **************************** In Thames Glassy glitter of your eyes Feeling of your flowery touch in air With all these realizations I reached the Church of London Abruptly, I notice you Bowing in Prayer  I view Glow of entire sky on your face. Original Poem ' IN THE CHURCH OF LONDON' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

ANGUISH DIFFUSING IN EVERY BREATH That anguish I never  let reflect On my face Still you are familiar with it I am dumbstruck. But now I ponder Being mother is an anguish Is any anguish Greater than it? Then, how could  Go unnoticed Anguish diffusing in my every breath? Original Poem 'ANGUISH DIFFUED IN EVERY BREATH' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra  

 GRACE OF MOTHER ********************* Probably I was your most worthless progeny Still You sheltered me.......... My paintings too Equally worthless As your son That's why I could love these so much This grace of mother I have learnt from you only. Original Poem 'GRACE OFMOTHER' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

YOUR TOUCH While touching you It was only your body And while touching, if my hands Remained hands only   Then, I am to be blamed Can transcending body  Persist When you are in unison?   Original Poem ' Subah Jagane Pr' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  MY NAME *********** In fluttering of  Those lips  A few alphabets  That created  my name With paint-brush of  vacuum On canvas of azure Innumerable rainbows  Twinkled God knows  What was the secret  In quivering of those lips.....

THAT SENSATION I had the notion  Death puts an end To everything  But, now I observe Death is as helpless  In face of that sensation As the life While facing death. Original Poem 'THAT SENSATION' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  LIKE THE SUN ON AALARS ************************* Once who had showered  Like life-giving cloud You are burning like The Sun on Aalars Snatching life.   Original Poem ' ALAARS  KE SOORAJ KEE MAANIND' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 SUNSHINE OF WAITING ************************ Wandering in streets was Better than Verbosity of this city. The solace Under this ceiling  Fails to match  That prevailed In sunshine of waiting.  Original Poem ' Intezaar kee Dhoop Mein' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 I CAN NOT BE NON-EXISTENT ****************************** Nay I can't be non-existent now In any way Interwoven threads That have been created  By your love Even if I shatter  Myself into tatters Even then Broken threads will persist Even if  intended How can that   Remaining be unalive?    Original Poem ' MEIN MIT NAHIN SAKTA' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  LIPS ARE STILL PARCHED You landed in my life Like a river Taking along my life In rhythmic waves You directed me to Infinite path. When I peep  Within me A  view Wide stretches of desert God knows, when you were consumed But  Lips are still parched.  Original Poem ' Hoonth Abhi Bhee Sukhe Hain' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 I extend my heartiest thanks to Reputed Poet and  Sahitya Akademi Translation Award Winner Ravi Purohit ji for sparing his precious time to manage my English Poems into Rajasthani. चावी कवयित्री अर उथळाकार रजनी छाबड़ा जी री अंग्रेजी कविता पोथी Mortgaged सूँ केई कवितावां रो राजस्थानी उथळो.. Maiden Step Blossom like delicate feet Moving haltingly Stumbling, hesitatingly Endeavoring to walk Tender feet have Just learnt to Step on the earth Falling, rising Swaying, managing Again toddling Holding hands of Affectionate Maa Eyes mutely Looking for applause Endeavours gain support From motherly grace Affection and care The whole courtyard Echoes with Tinkling of anklets And joyous echo Of success. पैलड़ा पगलिया पुसब-सा कंवळ पगां थम-थम, चेतन हुय आंगा-खांगा पगलियां सूं पैंडै री खैचळ पग अबार ई तो  जमीं पर टिकणो सीख्या है ऊंधा-सूंधा पड़ता-उठता पण थाकै नीं, चाल पड़ै ममता री आंगळी पकड़îां  आंख्यां मून हामळ री आस ममता अर नेह सूं संभळती जूझ सफळता री किळकारी पाजेबां री रुनझुन गूंजै ...

ON BANK OF THAMES ******************** Reddish sky is Sleeping In depth of  River-bed Limitless shadows Like wings of chirpers Mingle in you Greenery of banks Has halted in hazy water You have sheltered all in you All are mingled in you O, Mother! Why on the bank Why only I am restless?  Original Poem 'On Bank of Thanes' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 TREE IN ORCHID OF URSULA ***************************** Till this moment I fail to gather  That realization,  You might be remembering as well,  that tree! Who knows about those oceans Whose water was utilized in irrigating? In what condition is that tree If you could peep into Its branches The cupful hand That daily fills in  it Offering of  flowers. Original Poem ' Tree in Orchid of Ursula' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 ON BEING AWAKENED IN MORNING ********************************** In morning In stead of sleep in eyes Wait persists Kept sleeping Only for sake of  Listening to the silence That prevails intermittently in words. Original Poem ' Subah Jagane Pr' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 IN THAT INFINITE ****************** I  have prepared myself For my ultimate departure Innumerable shadows  Have started swinging Enveloping my end Into the infinite Not you  It is me now Embracing you, O, Death! Original Poem ' UUS ANANT MEIN' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 ON HEARING KNOCK OF DEATH ******************************* I could move  Far- far away from you But how could I move Far from me? Again and again I returned to your door But, you showed me threshold  Every time Till this day Crying in the same manner  is This 'Red -haired fool' Why I seemingly  Not able to forget Ashes of  oblivion are  On hearing knock of death. Original Poem ' Mout kee Aahat Sun Kr' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

SENSATION THAT I WAS DEVOID OF *********************************** Touching you  Only once Was it a sin? Was that touch Only a sensation of  Tensed veins? If not so The feeling  That led this sentiment  To longing-- Explain me that feeling! To interpret self Why to involve others In it? Original Poem ' Mere Bhitar Jo Nahin Tha' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  ANGUISH ********** What was to be expressed Remained unexpressed Kept  pricking  inwardly Expressed anguish That had to be borne Silently Why it is still tormenting Even after expressing? Original Poem ' Peedha' in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

 I WAS DESERT ************** You are not to be blamed I myself was  desert  That absorbed  Your water Maintaining relation with me Was a bargain of losing self-identity You retreated Embracing constantly flowing water You lived your life Nurtured it Addled it But, what role did I perform? Original Poem ' MEIN MARYSTHAL THAA'  in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra

  Reveries ********* Like the Sun of Aalars Something is smouldering  Within me. Reveries rise  Like fieriness. Original Poem ' Smritiyan'  in Hindi  by Kavi Anurag Translated into English  by Rajni Chhabra